(1) I assume that writers are the exact wrong people to talk about whether parenthood is good, writing and parenthood being pretty much as directly opposed to each other as two vocations can be – parenthood bringing both a distraction and a critic into ones household. We should be much more interested in the thoughts of, say, chefs or musicians on parenthood.
(2) Parenthood seems very much like making music to me, in that I don't have any aptitude for it but I'm really glad other people are doing it, and I think the world is improved by it. But also do imagine that people with musical skill do feel themselves superior to the tuneless, feel that their lives are richer, etc. That's just being good at something, though. Few people who've taken the time to acquire a skill, artistic or social, have the view that they're not better for it.
(3) In every context where we might say "All may, none must, some should", someone is going to feel accused by "some should" and want to start an argument about it. That argument is almost always about their own personal situation.
these are all good ways of reframing. I like the point about being good at something having broad relevance to reasonable pride in many contexts, that could be a good way to get around the move to who-is-the-fairest-of-them-all.
you know, now that you mention it, I can't believe I never realized the correlation with the writers. this brings flashbacks from a particularly fraught brooklyn poetry reading however. forward the chefs. when I'm enjoying myself particularly, it is usually not qua thinking about writing or even story telling, though fun later with the right crowd.
(1) I assume that writers are the exact wrong people to talk about whether parenthood is good, writing and parenthood being pretty much as directly opposed to each other as two vocations can be – parenthood bringing both a distraction and a critic into ones household. We should be much more interested in the thoughts of, say, chefs or musicians on parenthood.
(2) Parenthood seems very much like making music to me, in that I don't have any aptitude for it but I'm really glad other people are doing it, and I think the world is improved by it. But also do imagine that people with musical skill do feel themselves superior to the tuneless, feel that their lives are richer, etc. That's just being good at something, though. Few people who've taken the time to acquire a skill, artistic or social, have the view that they're not better for it.
(3) In every context where we might say "All may, none must, some should", someone is going to feel accused by "some should" and want to start an argument about it. That argument is almost always about their own personal situation.
these are all good ways of reframing. I like the point about being good at something having broad relevance to reasonable pride in many contexts, that could be a good way to get around the move to who-is-the-fairest-of-them-all.
you know, now that you mention it, I can't believe I never realized the correlation with the writers. this brings flashbacks from a particularly fraught brooklyn poetry reading however. forward the chefs. when I'm enjoying myself particularly, it is usually not qua thinking about writing or even story telling, though fun later with the right crowd.
(3) excellent use of adage.
Deeply unfair of you to be smart and reasonable about this